STRONG is the new skinny

The past two weekends, we've been out on the lake.  Which means lots of fun and sun, and lots of crap food.  As you know, I've been bouncing from 171-174 for months.  But with these two lake trips, I managed to hit 180 this morning.  YIKES.  However, I am not getting too worked up about it, because I'm still super proud of all of the things my body can do that I used to not be able to do.  And I know it's because I stuffed my face with sweets, sweets, and more sweets with sugar on top, so I pretty much deserve it.  You could even say I earned it. :)

Two weekends ago, we went sans-kid, and had a grand time at Hubs' corporate retreat. And since I have no fear about trying new things, I attempted to wakeboard.  The first time out was a disaster, because neither I nor the Hubs knew what we were doing.  We went back to shore and watched someone else do it, so the second time out went MUCH better.  I wasn't ever able to stand up, but I did get the board under me a few times.  And I'm proud of that.

This past weekend, we took the kiddo, and the water was choppy, choppy, choppy!!  We played in the morning, then went inside for awhile.  The water was low enough that we could walk up the boat ramp, but that meant swimming under the dock, which my daughter did NOT want to do.  Proudly, I swam over to the ladder (with her on my back), and then climbed the ladder with her in my lap.  As much as I hate, hate, hate my "dunlop" belly, I sure was glad for it this weekend, because it gave M a place to sit while I climbed!!  I felt so strong as I hauled myself and 33 extra (dripping wet) pounds up about 10' of ladder.

Later, the boys went to get the jet skis out of the water, but there was some mis-communication, and no one ever went down with the trailer.  So, my mom, the kiddo, and I went down to see what they were doing, and the kiddo decided she wanted to get back in the water.  At that point, it was like 3' waves, but I figured why not?  YOLO!  Once again, I climbed down the ladder with M in my lap.  And did a one-armed backstroke to get her out to the jet ski.  And then was able to toss her up onto the back of the ski, hold her with one hand while hauling myself onto the ski with the other hand, and get us both up on the jet ski, without breaking a sweat.  Not to mention that I did it in 3' waves, while she was paralyzed and crying, while Hubs was trying to keep the ski from tipping or crashing into the dock.  I was SOOOO happy.  I almost cried, thinking, "here I am, worried about what my gut looks like in a two piece, and yet, I can save my daughter and myself, no sweat."  And that's what this journey has always really been about- what my body can do for me, so that I can keep up with my kid.

But back to the size issue...  since the scale is not my friend, I decided to take some measurements, to get a better account of how I'm doing.  I have been meeting with a trainer, and just wasn't amused to see the scale going up after busing a$$ with her!  The latest measurements I could find were from Body Back, about 11 months ago.  As of today, I'm down 13 pounds from then (it was closer to 23, but.. oh well).  But that equates to 4.5" lost in my chest, 4" gone from my waist, 3.5" from the upper thigh/hip and 3" from my thigh circumference.  Which shocked me a little, and made me super proud.  I'm not ready to throw out my scale yet, but that sure does feel awesome!

It's been awhile since I've updated.  I guess it's because there's no news on the weight-loss front.  Things have been WILD at work (yay for an up economy!), so blogging has taken a back seat!  I've still been yo-yo-ing the same 4 pounds since March.  Boo for that.  So, while the scale isn't moving, I've decided to focus on other things.

I committed to doing an Olympic Distance Tri in September.  I found a 12 week training program, which required running, biking, or swimming 4 days/week, then biking and swimming on the 5th day.  I put my gym membership on hold (since it doesn't have a pool), bought myself a cute new tri suit, and rocked Week 1 of the training plan.  And then I came down with a miserable head cold on July 2.  The Friday after July 4th (the end of Week 2), I spent about an hour at work, before giving into the Siren song of my bed.  And I slept for 17 hours (!!!!).  I thought surely that was enough rest, and was still feeling optimistic. The next Tuesday, I went for a quick run.  I ran just under 2 miles, and then spent almost 30 minutes doubled over in my driveway, alternately hacking up a lung or trying to catch my breath.  At that point, I decided to give myself some time off from cardio, to let my lungs rest.  I gave it another week and the cough was still lingering, my co-workers started to comment, so I went to the doctor.  She sent me home with a z-pack and a bronchitis diagnosis.  That killed Weeks 3 and 4 of my training program.  That's when I decided it was time to face reality, that even at 100%, I wasn't going to be able to train for an Olympic Tri in 7 weeks.  But, after 3 weeks of little-to-no activity (remember, my gym membership was on hold, so I couldn't go lift), I'm feeling soft and slow.  I've only put on one pound above my normal 170-174 yo-yo, but now I'm holding at 175 even, and my pants and getting snug.  So, I went for a (short, slow) run last night, and was finally able to breathe again.  Hooray!

Since my gym is on hold until October, I decided to try working out with a trainer that my hair stylist recommended.  Tomorrow is my first session, and I'm SUPER excited.  I met with them for an initial consultation, and she's had 3 PCOS clients before me.  She knows a lot about my disease, and is excited to work with me.  Before I met with her, I tried to spend some time thinking about what to tell her that my goals are, where I came from, and what I'm working towards.  I was telling a co-worker, as I flipped through (fitness and fashion) magazines looking for my "goal," that I think part of the reason I've lost focus right now (besides the failed tri!) is that I don't have a defined goal.  I haven't found an old picture of myself, nothing in a magazine, no number on a scale... nothing that I can have in my head as something to work towards.  I feel GREAT about how I look right now, about how I feel, how fast I can run, how heavy I can lift.  The only thing I want to change is my "dunlop" gut, and since I can't see that 99% of my day, I tend to forget about it.  When I look in the mirror, though, I don't see "problem areas" like so many women do.  I see, "hey, that all looks average," and not good or bad.  So, my co-worker and I decided that we should both be mindful or working towards "better," but we both agreed that we don't really know what that looks like for us, but hope we will know when we get there!

Which brings me to the other things I've been focusing on lately... my munchkin.  The other day, I was on the floor, and she was climbing all over me, and she jiggled my belly, and said, "Oh, Momma's fat," I think.  I couldn't tell if it was "fat" or "flat," so I asked her to repeat it.  Only, I couldn't understand which one the second time, either.  Which got me to thinking... I've NEVER used negative language, about myself, about others, in private, nor in front of her.  I have no idea where she picked up that kind of idea, if indeed she was saying "fat".  So, I am challenging myself to speak highly of her and of myself any chance that I get, and not just appearance based!  I want to give her a positive self-image before society gets a chance to tear it down.  The other morning, I offered to paint her toenails, and I said, "Come on, let's go paint our nails," and she said, "why are we doing it?" (I'm guessing she meant why aren't we going for pedicures) and I said, "Because momma wants to do it.  Momma's good at painting nails, you know.  Momma's good at everything."  The Hubs was a bit taken aback (I may have heard him snicker in another room), but Kidlet seemed to like that answer.  And the next day, I explained to the Hubs what I was doing, and he was entirely supportive. 

Two other things have recently happened that have further affirmed that my hard work is worth it.  First, a friend and I went to a pole dancing workshop (LOL!).  I did my normal look around, to see if I was the biggest in the room (the answer to that used to be yes).  I was pleasantly average (there's that word again!).  So imagine my surprise when it was time to get on the pole, and I realized that, with the exception of the teacher, I was the strongest in the class.  The ladies who were larger than me were all moaning and groaning about how hard it was.  And the ladies who were smaller were politely moving themselves around with a grimace on their face.  But I dove in with reckless abandon (as I usually do) and kept thinking how easy it was!

The second thing is that I took the Munchkin ice skating.  The last time I took someone skating was probably 5 (or more) years ago, when I was at my heaviest.  We took my "cousins" and I wanted to cry by the end of our second lap.  I was sweating, out of breath, all of my muscles were tired, I wasn't having any fun... it was miserable.  That trip made me feel terrible about myself, and made me question if I could have kids in the shape I was in, since I couldn't keep up.  However, as we all know, it took more than that to get my booty into gear!  So, my daughter has been asking me to take her skating for a few months, ever since she saw a figure skating competition one day, when my dad was channel-surfing.  We finally went last week.  I kitted her out with pants, thick socks, and mittens, fully prepared to spend about 6 minutes on the ice.  Well.  She took to it like a fish to water, and we spent an entire hour on the ice!  We stopped for lunch, and she pestered me the entire time, "can we go ice skating as soon as I eat?"  It was absolutely precious!  And the icing on the cake was that it was easy for me.  I was sweating from head to toe, but I wasn't out of breath, I wasn't tired, my muscles weren't shaking... I didn't even realize we had been out there an hour, and could have gone for several more!  It was an amazing feeling. 

I tried to find a photo from last time to compare, but I couldn't
This was quite the workout!!!

Update

It's been awhile since I've written a post.  It's the usual reasons... things got busy at work, life got in the way, I don't have much to say, yadda yadda yadda.

Well, the first update is that the scale is stuck.  I've been bouncing from 170-174 for longer than I'd care to remember.  However, the good news is that I'm still losing inches.  My belly flap is still shrinking (hooray!), and I'm toning up in general.  But it sure is annoying to not see the numbers on the scale reflect that!

I completely understand women who are skinny fat, and weigh 120 and start lifting and then gain to 135 but look smaller.  Totally, completely, get why that happens, because those girls didn't have much fat to lose.  But I don't get why I still have plenty of fat to lose, but I can't get the scale to go down.  I guess it seems like yes, I gained 5 pounds of muscle (for example), so I must have lost 5 pounds of fat, since the scale stayed the same but my pants got bigger, but I have so much fat to lose, why isn't there a deficit?

 I know the main reason that the scale is stuck is that I've been totally slacking on my cardio.  My sister and I are casually training for a 10k, and I'm training for an Olympic Tri, so I have plenty of cardio to be doing.  But it seems like every time my sister and I plan to run, her baby needs to eat or it rains.  I swear, we have had the rainiest evenings lately.  It's almost like it rains just in our vicinity, and just enough to make it too gross to run!

The only other big news that I have is that I cleaned out my closet.  I mean, as things have gotten too big, I've thrown them aside.  But I went through EVERYTHING.  The swimsuit drawer, the coat closet, all of it. I posted it all in some resale groups,  and have been trying to make some money off of it.

Oh, and I guess the last big thing is that I treated myself at Athleta.  My plan was to go on a spree when I hit the 100 pound mark.  But, I had to go buy a swimsuit to start Tri training, and since I was there... Well.  Three hundred and fifty bucks later, I had a new suit.  And a few other things that found their way into my bag.  Crazy how that happens.  But, I came home, took out the suit, handed the rest to Hubs, and told him not to give it back to me until I hit the 100 pound mark.

Whole 30 recap

So, I promised a Whole 30 recap.  It's late, so I don't know how detailed I will get, but here goes.

Everything that they promised would happen, happened.  My sleep improved, I felt less bloated, I stopped getting "hangry," I felt less bloated, had clearer skin, lost some weight, was able to lift heavier in the gym (after an initial dip in strength)...  It was pretty amazing. 

I didn't even do the program the "right" way, since I'm still not done reading the book (it's been a busy month!!).  And I'm still looking forward to realllly doing it in July, AND Husband is on board to do it with me.  HOORAY.

So, the drawbacks:  it's craycray expensive to buy high quality meat. And it's extremely alarming to read labels and deeply regret everything that you've fed to your child for the past two years.  And it's hard to eat out.  And reintroducing food is a pain.  Like, literally.  I ate some white rice today and I feel like I might die right now.  My face is super broken out, but that could easily be from sunscreen, since we've been outside so much recently.  The sugar detox SUCKED big time, I thought I was going to vom at my desk on Day 8.  And I missed ketchup (all of that naked meat!) and PowerAde Zero way more than I realized I would.  And I felt like I thought about food all the time, since I was always trying to figure out what to avoid in the break room (everything), or had to remember to pack a lunch, or try not to eat a snack.

But, the basic recap is that I loved doing it.  I felt amazing, I looked rockin (everyone started commenting on how thin I looked in the final week), win-win.  I fully intend to be one of those "90% paleo" type people for the next month, and then do another hardcore round of Whole30, and then back to Paleo for the long term.  So long as it works with my Tri training.  I think if I can keep the protein intake high, I will be okay.  Maybe I'll be Paleo + protein shakes + ketchup. :)

I know what you really want to see, though are the pictures.  So here you go.


After

Before



After

Before

The biggest change that I see is in my "Dunlop" belly (that flab that's dunlopped over my swimsuit bottoms) and right below my boobs.


I really wasn't trying to make goofy faces or stand strangely in the Before shots.  I felt awkward and was trying not to laugh.  And in the after, I was grinning, of course.  It looks like I'm trying to thrust my boobs out in the after pics, cause Husband kept telling me to move my hand.  So here's another "after" with my shoulders forward, but my hand is blocking my belly improvement.

Anyway.  I lost 7 pounds in the first 15 days.  And then I hung out there until my birthday weekend, when I put 5 back on.  And then lost 2 by the end.  So a net loss of 4 pounds, for someone who wasn't being terribly strict.  I think this is a great long term plan for maintaining, but it's not conducive for me to do while still trying to lose weight.  Because I end up eating too much fruit and not enough protein.  So I either need to change that, or do something else to lose the last 10 pounds, and then come back to this. 

I am SUPER thrilled with how much of my lower belly that I lost, since that flap is my next goal.  HOORAY. 

Whole 30: 26-30

Day 26
Breakfast: Paleo pancakes
Lunch: Salad (sans dressing), Grilled shrimp, steamed veggies, sweet pot fries
Dinner: Banana, pork loin, dinner roll, ice cream

Hubs knew he let me down on my birthday, so he's making up for it this morning with paleo pancakes.  Hope they're good!

Also, it seems like my clean eating is rubbing off on hubs.  We were invited to lunch with my parents, to a place that is famous for all you can eat fried shrimp.  Debating whether or not to go, hubs said, "I always feel bad after I eat there.  It's just a mess of grease, and I don't think I want to go eat that.  But, I guess I don't *have* to get anything fried.  I guess I could get something else."  Yay hubby!

I was so bloated and miserable at the end of the day.  Crazy what one bad weekend can do.

Day 27
Breakfast: Paleo pancakes (leftover)
Lunch: Club bowl at Which Wich (no croutons + avocado)
Snack: TCBY White Choc Mousse
Dinner: Paleo meatballs, green beans, broccoli, blueberries

After how miserable I was on Sunday, I tried to keep things a little more in check on Monday.  I felt much better at the end of the day.

One strange thing about how much better I'm sleeping is how much more vivid my dreams are.  I've been having some WILD dreams.  Last night's was Hunger Games style warfare, and I was trying to save my daughter as well as myself, only we had GPS on all of our clothing, so we couldn't get out.  I kept trying to wrap us in foil to disrupt the GPS signal.  It was nuts, but completely (scarily) realistic.

Day 28:
Pre Workout: 1/2 banana
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with salsa
Lunch: Lettuce wraps at CPK
Snack: nectarine
Dinner: Baked salmon, steamed zucchini, Chenin Blanc wine
Snack: ice cream

Hubs and I decided to meet up for a spur of the moment lunch at CPK.  I had a long (internal) debate with myself about what to order.  The Thai Chicken pizza (my fave thing to get there), the Waldorf salad (sounded good), or the Lettuce wraps (because I really wanted Pei Wei).  I ended up with the lettuce wraps, because the pizza dough sounded really gross.  It's been crazy hard to keep sugar out of my meals the last several days, but I don't remotely miss grains.  I won't have any problem keeping those out for the long haul!

I was exhausted yesterday, and really just wanted wine for dinner.  Or ice cream.  So I did.  I fell back into old habits, that when I had a hard day, I went straight for comfort foods.  But, I made a point of savoring it, and I stopped when it no longer tasted good.  So at least there's that.

Day 29
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with salsa, banana
Snack: Banana and Pumpkin puree
Lunch: Tilapia and roasted sweet potato
Snack: Larabar (blueberry muffin)
Dinner: Fajitas

Since starting the Whole 30 (and I may have said this before), I feel like it's taking me longer to recover from workouts.  I mainly feel it in my hamstrings, they just stay sore forever, even when I didn't work them that hard.  So, that's why I scarfed down the banana and pumpkin puree.  I'm hoping the carbs will help me heal. I know that I need to stick with the starchy veggies on workout days, but I just love fruit.  Gah!

About 4:00, I started craving fajitas like crazy.  The hubs was working late and my BIL was out of town, so my sister and I ended up at my parents' house after our run.  We ordered Gringo's, and I chowed down on beef and chicken, grilled onions, and guac.  I also stole some queso from my daughter.  And I ended up eating about 10 chips, which I hadn't planned on.  I should have gotten up from the table or pushed the chips away, but I kept sitting and chatting, and ended up eating chips.  After I had eaten my satisfying meal.  GAH!!

Day 30
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with salsa, Sweet potato+pumpkin+apple+blueberry squeeze
Lunch: Baked salmon with steamed zucchini (leftovers), nectarine
Snack: Carrot+parsnip+apple squeeze
Dinner:  Snacks

So, yesterday, my legs were in agony.  Today it's my shoulders.  I asked a paleo friend for thoughts on why it's taking me so much longer to recover.  I'm not lifting as heavy as I did pre-Whole 30, choosing boot camp HIIT workouts instead of lifting.  This whole time, I've thought it was a lack of carbs that is keeping me down, since I was thinking that was the biggest change.  But, it finally hit me this morning:  Protein!!!  Before the Whole 30, I used to drink a protein shake for lunch.  35+ grams of protein every day.  And I doubt that I'm getting that now, since my lunch has been leftover chicken or fish with veggies.  I'm probably only getting about 4 ounces of meat at lunch, and another 6 or so at dinner (dinner is the same as before).  So, instead of trying to find more carb-y veggies to recover, I'm going to concentrate on packing in more protein.  Any advice on doing that without a shake would be great!

So, I hate eating dinner during the summer.  All I ever want to eat is fajitas and burgers, and of course, fruit! So, I had a banana at my mom's house.  And some baked Cheetos off of the Kid's plate.  And then some pineapple.  And then when I got home, I couldn't decide what to eat, so I had 1/2 of a banana that I found in the fridge.  And then I was still hungry (duh) so I had a chocolate cherry torte Larabar.  I really wanted to make a smoothie, but I couldn't even convince myself to get the blender out.  That's how much I hate being in the kitchen during the summer.  So, dinner was a sad affair.

So, that's it.  30 days of cleaning up my eating, paying attention to how I feel, yadda yadda yadda.  I took "before" pictures, and hopefully I will be able to snap some "after" pics tonight, and then I can do a whole recap post.  But the short version is that I feel amazing.  More energy, massively less bloated (my tummy is soclose to being "flat"!!!), easier to go to sleep (yay for naps!).  However, I'm not recovering from workouts as quickly, and I'm a little overwhelmed at learning how much sh*t is in the food that we eat everyday, which makes me queasy about feeding it to my kid!  Plus, I haven't finished the Whole 30 book, so I don't even know if I did this the right way!!

Ok, so that was a little more than a short recap.  :)

Whole 30 Days 19-25: Out of Steam

Day 19
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs, bacon, pineapple
Snack: Larabar (coconut cream pie = yum)
Lunch: Cumin roast (leftover from last week still)
Snack: 1/2 larabar (blueberry muffin, ok)
Dinner: Off-roading

So, I got back into my high school jeans today.  Which is what I've been working towards.  So, I'm taking the night off from cooking to celebrate.  I ordered a pizza for the husband and the kid.  I don't know if I will enjoy it with them, but I do know that I am not freaking cooking!  And, I'm celebrating by allowing myself to have some PowerAde Zero.  I've missed it so much, and nothing quenches my thirst after a hot run as well as a PowerAde.  There's always tomorrow, and the rest of my life, to get back on the Whole 30 bus.  :)

Day 20
Pre-Workout: Banana
Breakfast: Tuna, avocado, and hard boiled egg salad, Cranberry, almond, raisin, and pepita trail mix
Lunch: Out with a rep to Jenni's Noodle House: Rice noodle, shiitake, bamboo, snow peas, sprouts with chicken
Dinner: scrambled eggs with salsa, 1/2 banana, Blueberry muffin Larabar

So, last night, I did have 2 pieces of pizza. We didn't have any good beer in the house, so I went for the pizza instead.  And I savored the heck out of it, because it was delicious.  And this morning, I am a bloated mess, my workout was super hard.  I knew that would happen, but old habits die hard, I guess.   I also didn't hydrate as well as I should have yesterday.  Oh well!

I'm starting to lose steam on this whole thing.  As I'm getting further into the book, I'm realizing what I'm doing wrong.  And instead of trying to fix it now, it's making me frustrated, and it's making me totally spazz out on my eating.  Like, for dinner, the husband wasn't home and I didn't get home until 7.  My daughter had already eaten, so I just needed to throw something together for me.  And instead of thoughtfully grabbing some veggies (which we have plenty of) and figuring out what to do with those, I took the easy route of cooking some eggs and calling it a night.  I am looking forward to doing this the right way, when the national Whole 30 cranks up in July (at least, I assume they are doing it this July).

Day 21
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with salsa, Ella's Butternut Squash, carrot, apple, and prune squeeze
Lunch: Pulled pork
Snack: Roasted veggies
Snack: Trail mix of cranberries, raisins, almonds, sunflower seeds, and pepitas
Dinner: Tilapia with curry rub, steamed asparagus

That was the last of the pulled pork.  So sad.  I had some steamed broccoli and carrots leftover too, but they had gone bad.  Bummer.  Now I'm going to be hungry! :(  But.. SCORE. I went into the break room to cut up my kiwi (the only food I had left) and there was a giant pan of roasted veggies, leftover from lunch.  I made a plate of carrots, squash, zucchini, mushrooms, and onions.  HOORAY!

Day 22
Pre-workout: Blueberry breakfast sausage
Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs, almonds with raisins, blueberry muffin larabar
Lunch: Larabar (cashew cookie), sweet potato squeeze, 2 slices of turkey lunch meat
Dinner: Grilled chicken, steamed broccoli

I forgot my breakfast, so I had to scrounge.  I'm going to have to chow down on some sweet potatoes like crazy later, because it's a double work-out day today.  I've already learned that if I don't recover with carbs, then I don't really recover (my muscles are sore for a week!).  Here's hoping I can swing by Target later for some more squeezes, or I can pop my sweet potatoes in the oven before Body Back tonight!

So, I had time to swing by Target, but I did *not* have time to get back to the office for the lunch that I had thoughtfully packed.  So, lunch was a sad affair of the squeeze and bar that I bought at Target on the way to get my daughter from school, plus 2 slices of lunch meat that I was able to grab from the fridge as I was walking circles around my house, trying to put my niece to sleep.  Not surprisingly, I felt munchy, tired, and cranky for the rest of the day.  I finally felt better after I got some real food in at dinner.  But by that point, I was super frustrated.  After my mom came for my niece, I put some yummy-smelling meatballs in the crockpot, but they weren't done by the time I needed to eat, so I didn't get to enjoy them.  So once again, I scrounged for some food, and found a chicken breast to put with the broccoli that did cook on time.  When I do the Whole 30 in July, I'm going to spend some time planning all of my meals, and start packing a cooler to take with me, so that I won't keep getting stuck without compliant food.  Guess I'll get to enjoy the meatballs later this week!

Day 23
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with salsa
Lunch: Grilled chicken, steamed broccoli, mango
Snack: kiwi
Dinner: pineapple chicken, roasted sweet potato

Once again, the food problem.  When I got home from Body Back last night, I realized that my avocados were rotten, and that I didn't have any eggs boiled.  Which means nothing to pack for eating post-boot camp.  So, I skipped boot camp in favor of a run with my sister this evening.

Day 24
MY BIRTHDAY
Breakfast: Chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream
Lunch: Shrimp salad on lettuce, avocado, pumpkin bread
Dinner: Fried pickles, boiled crawfish, Abita strawberry beer, stuffed mushrooms, Italian cream cake

So, I sent the husband a list of 21 day sugar detox treats, and told him that he could make one for my birthday breakfast.  It's tradition in my family that you get cake for breakfast on your birthday, but I was going to stay strong.  Only, he thought we had all of the ingredients, which we didn't.  So at 7:30 last night, I told him that we could just do chocolate cake and ice cream.  But that it had to be a gooey, totally rich, and worth it chocolate cake.  And Blue Bell vanilla ice cream.  I enjoyed the heck out of the cake this morning, but the ice cream tasted super funky.  Husband warned me that it would.  He actually said, "why does it matter if it's Blue Bell?  Your taste buds are all messed up right now," and I wanted to say, "my taste buds are all normal right now, you mean," but I didn't.  But, he was right.  I did not like the blue bell vanilla.  Sigh.

For lunch, my mom, sister, and I went to a tea room that we love.  I made the "better" choice of not getting the sandwich sampler that I usually get (pimento, turkey, and chicken salad, all on white bread, with pumpkin bread and a bowl of fruit).  Instead, I got their salad with shrimp salad, no dressing, and then enjoyed two bites of my mom's pumpkin bread.

For dinner, my BIL chose a seafood place (it's his birthday, too).  The family split an order of fried pickles, and boiled crawfish.  They were delicious.  I enjoyed an Abita beer.  And then I ordered crabbed stuffed (steamed) mushrooms fro my meal, and they were disappointing.  So, I only ate 2 of them, and my dad took the rest home.  I don't know if it was me or the food that was the problem.  Then we all came back to my house, and my sister had baked an Italian cream cake, which I had some, but it was way too sweet!  I have a feeling that was me. :)

Day 25
Breakfast: Kolache of scrambled eggs and sausage
Snack: top of a blueberry muffin
Lunch: CFA nuggets, fruit
Dinner: Lamb and potato samosas, Chicken Tikka Masala, Chocolate samosas with chai ice cream.  Pimms cup, wine

We took a family trip to Sea Center Texas, so we grabbed breakfast on the way.  And in true processed food form, I was hungry like 15 minutes after we ate.  My daughter had ordered a blueberry muffin for the road, so I ate the top off of it.  And then I was finally full.  Blech.  For lunch, we popped into CFA before my daughter fell asleep.  I could have gotten the grilled chicken breast, and I could have thrown the bun away and just had the breast.  But I really didn't want to.  So, I got the nuggets, and they were massively disappointing. 

For dinner, we had planned to meet some old friends at an Indian restaurant.  We'd planned this for months, and I knew I was going to have samosas and tikka masala.  My faves. :)  The samosas were kind of bland, and the tikka masala was a little too sweet.  It was all fine, but not great. When I saw chocolate samosas with chai ice cream, topped with salted caramel, I thought I was dreaming.  Until recently, I had forgotten how much I love chai.  Salted caramel seems to be a big thing right now, and I love it.  And chocolate is... duh.    But again, it was a disappointment.  It was fine, but not amazing.

Then hubby and I went to a wine bar, where I got the Bee Sweet flight (muscat frizzante, moscato, pink muscat).  It was delicious, and I enjoyed spending some alone time with hubs.  We've both been going in a million different directions.  He loves his job, and I love exercise, and we both have goals relative to those things, and it seems like we never see each other.  So it was nice to reconnect, at our favorite type of place.  We got engaged at a wine bar in Lubbock, where we used to go at least twice a month.  It was nice to find a similar place in Houston (although the one in Lubbock is still better- better wines, better ambiance).

So, lesson learned this week:  Processed food is always disappointing.  Let's see if I can keep that in mind this week, as things continue to stay hectic, and it seems easier to make the fast choice.  Second lesson: alcohol still rocks.  :)

OMG

Well, there they are. I did it.  I got back into my high school jeans.  And I did it before the 4 year mark.  I've got a few months left (about 9 weeks) to blast through the last 8 pounds, to make it an even 100 pounds lost.  Stay tuned!

 

Tonight, I'm going to take a minute to celebrate.  I knocked out a quick 5k with my sister, so I am now going to enjoy the heck out of some PowerAde and a beer.

Whole 30 Days 12-18

Day 12
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with salsa
Lunch: Rosemary chicken with onions, steamed carrots, steamed broccoli, fruit salad
Snack: Grapes and boiled shrimp
Dinner: Banana with almond butter

The last few days, I have not been hungry in the mornings.  I have to force myself to eat something, and it's not pleasant.  Yesterday, I found that I was hungry at lunch and then around 4:00, but I wasn't hungry the rest of the day.

Day 13
Pre-Workout: Banana
Breakfast (post-workout): Can of soy free tuna, with 1/2 avocado, and with boiled egg, and blueberries on the side
Lunch: Salad of lettuce, rosemary chicken, mango, 1/2 avocado, grapes, and blueberries
Snack: Fruit salad (apples, blueberries, oranges, blackberries, pineapple, fresh cherries)
Dinner: Pulled Pork and baked sweet potato with coconut flakes

I was STARVING all afternoon, I'm thinking a salad doesn't cut it. Then I overate fruit all afternoon, and wasn't hungry for dinner.  But dinner was so flipping delicious that I ate it anyway!!  :(  Big fail.

Day 14
Breakfast: 3 scrambled eggs with salsa, blueberries.
Lunch: Cumin pulled pork, sweet potato with coconut flakes
Snack: Fruit salad
Dinner:  Boiled shrimp, steamed carrots, steamed broccoli, 1/2 avocado, fruit salad

I feel like a bloated mess this morning.  It's either the overeating and overindulging in fruit from yesterday, or it's the martini and calamari from Saturday catching up with me.  Either way, my tummy is massive today!  Lesson learned (for now!), I brought leftovers from last night for lunch, and I am super excited about them.  :)

For the first time, I did not miss my morning snack!  I didn't feel like I needed it, so I didn't have it.  This evening, though, I'm craving chocolate like a mad woman, so maybe there is something to getting a little bit of sugar from a banana.  I think the other fruit, though, is what is making me bloated because I am stuffed tonight.  Also, though, we ate dinner at my parents', and I tend to overeat there. 

Day 15
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs with salsa, Ella's Kitchen Sweet Potato and Blueberry squeeze
Lunch: Grilled chicken, blueberries, grapes, and dried cranberries
Snack: Larabar (apple pie = delicious)
Dinner: Steak tips with onions and peppers, broccoli, sweet potato fries


I had to scrounge for lunch in the kitchen at work, so it was heavy on fruit.

I'm sleeping like a baby.. well, I'm sleeping better than *my* baby ever did!  I've never had a problem falling asleep at night, but it's been awhile since I've woken up at 5 am and felt refreshed and ready to go.  But for the last several days, I've felt SO great at 5 am.  And besides rainy days, I don't ever feel sleepy during the day anymore.  But, it's insanely easy to take naps now.  If I find myself with a stretch of time on a Sunday afternoon, I can fall asleep in a snap.  It's awesome!

This morning, the scale hit a new all time low.  167.8!!!!!  So, I've lost 9 pounds in 15 days.  That's pretty awesome.  :)

I had to travel for work during the time that I normally eat dinner, so I ate a Larabar on the plane.  The apple pie was awesome.  Then, in a total culture shock, I couldn't think of a single place in Lubbock that I wanted to go eat healthy food.  Since my lifestyle has changed gradually in Houston, it's been easy to find places that serve healthy foods.  But in college, we ate like crap!  So when we landed in Lubbock, I was all, "Oh, let's go to Manna!" but then I realized I didn't know what was on their menu besides my beloved Brie queso.  And then I was all, "Buns Over Texas!" which is not worth visiting if you can't have the fries... and on down the list of all of my favorite places (I wasn't even going to bother with the Italian or Mexican that we used to eat regularly).  So we ended up at a steakhouse, which was fine.  But we ate so late that I had a lot of trouble falling asleep.

On the plane, I started reading It Starts with Food, which is the book behind the Whole 30.  It's a great book, and I would highly recommend reading it.  It explains the "why" behind this diet, which is very interesting.

Day 16
Post workout snack: Cashew cookie Larabar (meh)
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with peppers, banana
Lunch: Turkey burger patty, pineapple slices
Snack: Cherry pie Larabar (too sweet!!)
Snack: Trail mix (picked out the peanuts)
Dinner: Porkchop, steamed cauliflower, banana

Day 2 in Lubbock, and I was still struggling with what to eat.  We went to United for breakfast, and I imagine there was probably some milk in my eggs.  Then we went to Bless Your Heart for lunch, which is known in Lubbock for its "healthy fare."  I thought I would be able to find some steamed veggies, or maybe a salad without cheese or dressing.  Nope.  The best choice was for me to order the turkey burger, not eat the bun, and then get their fruit cup on the side, which was packed with melon and I hate melon.  So, I stayed hungry for the entire rest of the day.  I ate the Larabar about 2:00, and it didn't fill me up.  Then it was another plane ride during dinner time, so I grabbed some trail mix at the airport, that was cashews, almonds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, peanuts, and raisins, and I picked out all of the peanuts!  I fell fast asleep on the plane, because I was so hungry that I was getting sick to my stomach.  No good.  Once I got home, I wanted some ice cream like a crazy person.  There was a lovely half gallon of Banana Pudding ice cream sitting in the freezer.  It's my favorite, and only available in May/June-ish.  But I decided that if I was craving banana pudding ice cream that bad, then I should just have a banana.  So I did, and it definitely helped my craving.

Day 17
Breakfast: 3 scrambled eggs, 3 strawberries
Snack: Trail mix without peanuts
Lunch: Lola burger, sweet potato fries
Snack: Larabar
Dinner:  Blech.

Stressful morning... I had to swing by the airport, because I left my wallet in hubby's car.  And the airport is at the same exit as Shipleys.  I realllllllly wanted some Shipleys on my way there, and was slightly considering letting myself get it.  But thankfully, Shipleys is beyond the turn for the airport, and by the time I was on my way back and would have passed it, I was so excited about finding my wallet (I didn't know where hubby was parked because he wasn't answering his phone, so I just went on instinct to find his car!), that I completely forgot about donuts. Hooray.

So, in what is by far the biggest victory of the Whole 30, I gave up by bun at Lola's.  The buns there are from the Sweet Mesquite Bakery, and they are DELICIOUS.  Sweet and fluffy and just yummmmyyyyyyy.  But, when my burger came, I dutifully pulled off the meat and veggies, and put my bun in the middle of the table, for my fellow diners to enjoy.  I was sad about it while I was eating my naked burger (since I still haven't made any ketchup), but once we were done eating, I was on such a HIGH and felt so good about the amount of food that I ate.  Usually when I leave Lola's I'm stuffed and on the edge of miserable. Not this time!  Big win for me.

So, after the high of Lola's, I picked up my cousins for a slumber party.  They wanted to go to Gringo's, which was fine.  I thought I could find *something* reasonable.  But once I looked at the menu, there wasn't a whole lot.  I ended up with the Amazon wrap, which is a spinach tortilla with chicken and lettuce and stuff, and Amazon sauce. So, the tortilla and sauce were not on the Whole 30.  And since I wasn't mentally prepared for Mexican food, I ate chips.  Not as many as usual, and I skipped the rice and beans that came with my dinner, and didn't get the free soft serve.  So I ended up doing better than usual, but not great.  But what they say in the book about this crud being a vicious cycle, that the crummy food making you crave more crummy food...  well.  when we got home, I ate 39875302957039875 chewy Chips Ahoy.  And some Sour Patch Kids while we watched a movie. And generally, I was just totally unprepared for slumber party temptations.  The second we got to my sister's house last night, I got shooting pains in my lower right of my torso, very similar to when cysts start acting up.  It's shocking that just a little bit of crap (the tortilla, the tortilla chips, and the sugar) could make me feel so bad, so fast.

Day 18
Breakfast: 3 donut holes, 2 scrambled eggs with salsa
Snack: Special K protein bar
Lunch: Lettucewich at which wich, house chips
Snack: Blueberries and grapes
Dinner: Roasted chicken, broccoli, carrots


Clearly, I wasn't over the temptations and poor preparation.  We spent the night at my sister's house, and I didn't pack snacks or plan meals, or prepare in any way.  And I a paying for it!  Today I am bloated, tired, and hungry.  Shocking what a small change can do to your body. 

Whole 30 the Real Deal

Day 6:
Breakfast: Scrambled egg whites with bruschetta topping (see previous post)
Post workout: Banana
Snack: Beet Chips
Lunch: Turkey empanada stuffing, steamed carrots, fresh broccoli
Snack: Mixed nuts
Dinner: Salmon with asparagus, grapes, and strawberries.

I slept like CRAP last night.  It took me forever to fall asleep, and then I woke up every hour.  At 4:15, I threw in the towel, and just laid in bed with my eyes open.  I don't know if it was the long nap or the Whole 30, or something else, but it wasn't pleasant!  I went ahead and drug myself to Boot Camp, since I was up anyway.  There were only 5 of us there, and it was fun.  I don't feel like I worked as hard as I did last week. The timeline tells me that it's totally normal.  But that sucked!  With each step I took on the runs, I could feel a jarring in my hips.  I'm hoping that's not a Whole 30 thing, but a sign that I need new shoes.  I'm gonna go get some on my lunch break, hopefully that will help!

After lunch today, I felt super crummy.  I had a headache, my eyes were sensitive to light, and I was craving dried blueberries (or anything sweet... gummy bears even sound good!) like a mad woman.  I'm really hoping I'm not going to crash and burn on this Whole 30.  But the fever-y headache-y feeling has got to go!  On the plus side, this morning I felt less mucus-y then I can remember feeling in a long time.  So that's a plus.

I totally spazzed on dinner, it was completely flavorless.  What a waste of fancy fish!  I am currently craving some banana nut bread (there's a fresh loaf, homemade by my dad, just sitting in the pantry).  I think trying to go cold turkey on the fruit was a bad idea, I wanted it all day long.  I think tomorrow I will add one fruit back in, maybe some strawberries at lunch, or an apple with almond butter for a snack.

I've heard mixed messages on snacking.  I haven't read the book, but some people tell me that the book bans snacking, and some people say the book makes no mention of snacking.  I'm going to stick with snacking for now.  I think all these years of 5 small meals may have made my stomach smaller, because I get SO full when I sit down for dinner.  If I try to go to 3 large meals, I think I am setting myself up for failure at the end of the 30 days, because I know I won't be able to stick with that format.

Day 7
Breakfast: Scrambled egg whites with bruschetta topping
Snack: Apple with almond butter
Second snack: Handful of walnuts, raisins, and coconut flakes
Lunch: Turkey empanada stuffing, broccoli, peas from the garden
Snack: Walnuts, raisins, and coconut flakes
Dinner: Grilled chicken, steamed broccoli, and strawberries

I am the most boring lunch date ever.  I have zero problem eating the exact same thing for breakfast and lunch every day, forever.  The walnuts, raisins, and coconut is surprisingly delicious.  I'm excited that this challenge is really making me get out of my comfort zone of flavors and cooking.  That's not to say that I'm getting good at making new things, but that I am trying!

Yes, I ate two morning snacks today.  I didn't hit the gym this morning, and I'm always hungrier on days that I don't work out.  Weird.  Dinner was supposed to be mashed cauliflower, but we forgot to buy any cauliflower at the store!  Whoops.  Good thing the Munchkin had tossed an extra head of broccoli into the cart.  I still miss ketchup more than anything else.  I found a recipe for homemade sugar-free ketchup, I'm going to make it this weekend.

Day 8
Breakfast: scrambled egg whites with bruschetta topping, glass of orange juice
Snack: Apple, walnuts
Lunch: Hamburger patty with avocado, carrots, grapes
Snack: Banana, almonds (was at my mom's house again, need to plan better for Wednesdays)
Dinner: Ham, kale chips, 1/2 grapefruit

I finished off the last of the bruschetta topping, so tomorrow will be back to avocado.  :)  My throat was hurting all day yesterday, so I added a glass of OJ this morning (100% juice, nothing added), because I like to try that before I try medicine.  It made me SOOOOO sick.  Or maybe it was the diet that made me sick.  But I was down for the count yesterday.

In other news, I hit a new low on the scale today.  Anyone who read my MS150 posts knew that I had gotten down to 172.2, but was yo-yoing, putting on 4-6 pounds every weekend because of the carb loading for my training rides.  Which is what made me want to do this diet... if a reasonable bowl of pasta or pizza on Friday night, 4-6 Fig Newtons, and a serving of Endurox can make me put on 4-6 pounds while I'm riding my bike 40-80 miles, I wanted to see what would happen if I cut out those carbs!  Happily, the scale settled at 171.6 this morning, even though I weighed 20 minutes earlier than I usually do (yes, those 20 minutes matter!).   So YAY for being that much closer to my goal weight!!!

Day 9
Breakfast: Scrambled Egg whites.  Avocado was rotten inside :(
Post Workout: Banana
Lunch: Hamburger patty, steamed asparagus
Snack: Fruit (pineapple, small kiwi, strawberries) pilfered from the break room.  :)
Snack (worked late): Handful of almonds on the LONG drive home
Dinner: 1/4 of Spanish Tortilla (DELICIOUS)

Boot camp was back to being AWESOME this morning.  I had SO much stinking energy.  They had flags up around our parking lot that was blacktopped earlier this week, and I was leaping over the flags when we took off on our runs.  Leaping.  And smiling.  In the middle of boot camp. WTF?  I don't even know me.  I asked the owner to make most of the exercises harder for me.  It just all seemed too easy.  Go me!

I almost cried when I cut into my rotten avocado.  Because that means I have to eat a dry burger for lunch, unless I can find some Whole30 ketchup in the next 1.5 hours.  Blech.

Something I learned today: parsnips are delish.  I don't know that I've ever had one, but I really liked them!

So far, the things I miss the most are Powerade Zero and ketchup!!  I thought I would be crying for wine and ice cream by now, but I've hardly even missed those.  But oh, how I miss my occasional Powerade and my all-the-time ketchup.  The ketchup thing might bring me to tears before this is over.

Day 10
Breakfast (so not hungry): 1/4 of the Spanish Tortilla
Post Workout: banana
Lunch: Chicken salad, steamed carrots, 2 strawberries
Snack: 1/2 grapefruit
Dinner:  Hamburger patty with salsa, steamed squash

I really need to work on my post-workout snack.  I know I need more protein, because my muscles are screaming at me, but I don't want to chow down on meat at 7 am.  I think I will spend some time researching quick protein sources that are Whole 30 friendly.  :)

My chicken salad is grilled chicken that I shredded, 1/2 large avocado, 1/2 small apple, and some cut up grapes.  Basically the linked recipe, but I did avocado instead of almond butter.  I don't know, it was late, and I thought that's what the recipe said, but apparently not.  It was dang good, if I do say so myself.

I had my first "test" of being out with friends.  My besties were hilarious jerks about it, saying I couldn't go out if I wasn't gonna drink.  Other than that, it wasn't too bad.  It was Bunco night with my mom's group, and it was easy to avoid the food and drink there.  If margaritas and chocolate had been served, that might have been a different story.  Then we went out to a bar that was beer only.  And at first, I reallllly wanted a beer, but then we all got up to play shuffleboard, and at that point I didn't feel as awkward about sitting around and not drinking!

One thing that I am surprised about is how much my taste buds have already changed.  And how much I'm willing to just throw sh*t together and see what happens.  That was a big fail on the fish the other night, but a big win with the chicken today.  As for the taste buds, I licked my finger after opening my daughter's IcePop last night, and OMG it was DISGUSTING.  I won't be making that mistake again.  I used to knock back cherry IcePops, no prob, but last night, it tasted like I had insect repellent on my tongue.  Which, I probably did, with all the crap that is in those.  Which is why I am ordering these and making my own pops for her.  Hopefully she will like them, now that she's tasted all of the HFCS, she will probably turn up her nose at mine!

Day 11
Breakfast:  FAIL. 
Post Run Snack: 2 orange slices and a banana
Snack: 1/2 hamburger patty
Lunch: Hamburger patty with salsa, steamed asparagus
Dinner:  Porkchops, with...  well, read below!

For breakfast, I grabbed what was left of the Spanish tortilla (about 2/3s of 1/4) and scrambled up some egg whites, to eat on the way to my 5k.  They did not sit well at all, so I only ate about 4 bites. :(  The run kinda sucked on empty stomach, I had a stitch in my side for the first 2 miles, and felt like I was fighting that.  We turned in a 34 minute time.  Not my best, but the rumor at the finish line was that it was longer than 3.1miles, and it definitely felt like it. 

So, for dinner, hubby and I decided to go to Perry's Steakhouse.  It had been awhile since we've had a date night, and I picked Perry's because I thought it would be fairly easy to eat at a steakhouse.  But, once we made the reservations, I knew that I would want a martini.  So, I referred to the Cheating Flowchart page of the Whole 30, and I decided to have a martini.  And then I had a revelation.

This Whole 30 thing has been pretty darn easy.  And so, I got to thinking... if I can really do this with minimal change to my diet and lifestyle (which I've done so far) then can't I do this forever?  And if I want to incorporate most of these Whole 30 changes into the rest of my life, then why do I need to be overly strict for the first 30 days?  The goal when I started this was to find out if carbs were causing me to have a "wheat belly" and if cutting our sugar would help me come off the metformin.  And in the first 12 days, I found out that I am definitely affected by wheat belly.  As a whole, I feel much better at the end of the day while on the Whole 30.

So, I'm going to finish out the Whole 30, avoiding all of the things they say to avoid.  And then I'm going to live the rest of my life avoiding white grains, limiting brown grains, massively limiting sugar, and really thinking twice about the things I'm putting into my body.

As for dinner last night.  I enjoyed the heck out of calamari, then had the famous porkchop (but scraped off the butter), and their fried asparagus.  I also had the elderflower martini (which, ironically, didn't taste as amazing as it usually does), and a glass of malbec, which I couldn't finish.  This morning, I was as mucous-y as I was before starting this, and this afternoon, my intestines are very mad at me.  So, I've learned what sugar, alcohol and flour do to my body!  But I still wouldn't change a thing!! :)

So this happened

I've never in my life had a bicep.  Never.  I feel like kind of a badass, and I'm showing everyone.  I'm so proud.

Now to get rid of the flappy fat on the bottom, so my triceps show.  But no scary Madonna arms! :)

I got a body tape with my last bodybuilding.com order.  So, I measured myself, and since Body Back, which ended in early November, I've lost another 2"+ in my chest and another 4"+ in my waist.  Only 1.5" in my hips, but that's not too bad for 5 months.  No wonder all of my clothes don't fit all of a sudden!

Whole30-ish, Week 1

So, I decided, on a whim, to give the Whole30 a shot.  The whole nocarbsnodairynosugarnolegumesnofun part is going to be easy.  (When I remember) I have crazy willpower.  I usually break these challenges by forgetting that I'm on them.  Like Lent.. I remember that I gave up chocolate once I'm two sticks into my Kit Kat.

Anyway.  What I *can* eat is proving to be the challenge.  Here's their easy cheat sheet on good-better-best choices.  But since I decided to do this on a whim, I don't have grass-fed, pastured, organic perfection in my fridge.  What I do have is the stuff that we meal planned for this week (we've meal planned since years ago, when we were poor college students), and the will to do the best that I can with it.

So, Day 1:
Breakfast: Egg whites, scrambled, with 1/2 small avocado.
Snack:  Banana
Lunch: Two slices of tomato with tuna, baby carrots, pineapple.
Snack: Oranges
Dinner: Organic chicken breast, 1/2 small avocado, steamed carrots, fruit salad
Snack: Apple, blueberries

Day 1 was a little rough because I forgot my lunch and snack at home.  I work 1/2 days on Wednesday, so then lunch and snacks was what I scrounged up at my mom's house.  I feel like I did an okay job.  The tuna was canned (not the best choice!), and I went a little heavy on fruit.  I cooked the chicken on Monday night, so I'm not sure if it was pastured organic, but we've bought organic chicken ever since the regular breasts started getting so huge.  So, I know it was at least organic. By dinner, I was STARVING, but felt full after just a few bites of chicken and avocado.  My daughter wanted some dirty rice, and it was SO hard to not nibble off her plate as I was preparing it.  After dinner, around 7:30, I was STARVING again.  Hubs was home by that point and decided to make a pizza with my FAVORITE Trader Joe's dough (I told him that he could), and I wasn't remotely tempted by it.  At the end of the day, I felt great.

Day 2:
Breakfast: Scrambled egg whites with avocado (old habits die hard)
Post work-out snack: banana
Lunch: Turkey empanada filling (ground turkey with onion, cumin, garlic, raisins, and olives, without the empanada part!), snap peas from the garden at my office, fresh broccoli
Snack: Apple and nuts
Dinner: Porkchops, greens, and roasted sweet potatoes

A little better, but I'm going to have to work on my snacks still.  Today, I'm feeling a little bloated, could be because I ate WAY more food than my body is used to.  I went to boot camp this morning, and felt fine.


I'm still taking all of my meds and supplements (EFA, fish oil, Multi Vitamin, BCAA on lifting days, Yasmin, and Metformin) and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to do that or not.  I need to spend some time researching the supplement part (I'm not going to skip my meds without the docs' approval).

Day 3:
Breakfast: Breakfast "Tacos"
Snack: Banana
Lunch: Porkchops and sweet potatoes (leftovers)
Snack: Almonds, blueberries, coconut flakes
Dinner: Tilapia with mango, pico, and avocado.  Broccoli, mandarin oranges


This morning, I woke up with a bit of a sinus fever, so I decided to stay home from work.  For breakfast, I made scrambled eggs and sausage for the family.  They ate theirs with cheese and tortillas, I ate mine with an avocado.  This was a tough day for snacking, since I was home.  Every  time I had to go in the pantry for something, I wanted to grab a snack (like a cookie), so it was a test of my willpower for sure!  We didn't have anything for dinner, so we went to Chili's, where I tried to avoid everything as best as I could (I skipped the obvious sugar sources, like the vinaigrette on my fish).

Day 4:
Breakfast: Scrambled egg whites with avocado, bacon
Snack: Blueberries and almonds
Lunch/Dinner: Crawfish, crawfish, and more crawfish!  Some sausage, and a La Paloma


I know we're not supposed to be weighing, but the scale is my vice.  With PCOS, I've put on as much as 8 pounds in a day.  EIGHT.  So, I have to weigh everyday, or I get crazy off track.  But, since Wednesday morning, I've lost 4 pounds.  Winning!! We had our annual crawfish boil, and it was quite the party.  There were sweets coming out our ears, but it wasn't too hard to skip them (shockingly). And with my Paloma in hand, I didn't really miss the beer, either.  But, a friend asked me to make her a margarita, and that almost did me in.  OMG it smelled SO good.  I handed it to her as fast as I could, so the temptation was gone.  The Whole30 timeline says this is supposed to be your cranky day.  I felt a little snappy that morning, but it wasn't too bad.  My company had their annual summer party that evening, and I had planned to go.  However, I didn't know how much longer I would be able to say "no" to alcohol, so I gave my willpower a break and went to bed early.

Day 5:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with bruschetta topping
Snack: Apple with almond butter
Lunch: Tuna mixed with avocado, on greens, with tomato.  Steamed baby carrots.
Snack: blueberries and beet chips
Dinner: Hamburger on Portobello mushroom caps. Steamed squash and zucchini

Sunday morning, I found some party leftovers in our fridge.  A friend had brought bruschetta and left the extra topping.  SCORE for my eggs!  It had tomatoes, lemon juice, peppers, and yumminess.  I also weighed myself and was pleasantly surprised that 12 million pounds of crawfish, 2 days of skipped workouts, and way less water than I usually drink only resulted in a 2 pound gain.  Most Monday mornings, the scale is showing me +4 or +6 pounds from all the carb loading that I've had to do from my Saturday bike rides (and the beer that I usually drink... and the ice cream that helps me "recover"), and then I spend the week trying to lose it.  I haven't gone on a long ride in a few weeks, so I haven't had to carb up.  In June, I'm going to start training for an Olympic distance Tri.  I'm hoping my body will have adjusted to this no-carb thing, so that I don't have to load up for recovery.

Sunday mornings we go to the grocery store, so I was able to get all loaded up on Whole 30 goodness.  The hubs was shocked when we spent $16 on two pounds of ground beef.  I was surprised that my choices at the fish counter were farmed Atlantic or wild Alaskan.  I thought that wild Atlantic was the best, but I'm going to have to do a little digging to verify that.  I bought the wild Alaskan, I'm excited to cook it. I was also very disappointed to see that all of the ham is cured with (or has added) sugar.  All of it. And... no sugar free ketchup.  Not a single option.  I could CRY.  I really thought I was going to be able to rock some ketchup this month (I lovelovelove ketchup, almost as much as I love fruit).  I haven't eaten my hamburger yet, I'll let you know if I do end up crying.  I may swing by Whole Foods tomorrow and see if I can find any other options.

Day 5 is supposed to be the sleepy day.  And seeing as I just woke up from a 2 hour nap, I'd say that's true.  I also feel a little unfocused, I've been doing lots of walking into rooms and forgetting why I'm there, or starting a story and then forgetting what I wanted to say.  Hopefully that passes today, since I need to be sharp at work tomorrow!

And now, since I've stocked up on real Whole 30 foods, I'm going to start a new post.

The (mostly) Whole30

I've been doing a ton of research on PCOS-friendly nutrition.  There is a ton of info out there on how we are at war with our food.  I won't get into all of that now, except that the thing I saw most often was Cysters keeping the weight off with Paleo type diets.  Which got me thinking...

When I was training for the MS150, I learned very quickly that my body does not respond to sugar.  That eating sugar while doing long bikes is a formula for my body to crash.  Before I learned that, it was taking me four days to recover from rides.  FOUR DAYS.  That's insane.  Since I learned that complex carbs were the  best way for me to sustain longer rides and quick recovery, I carbed (16 Fig Newtons, 2 GUs, 2 servings of Endurox, 2 Oranges, some trail mix, and lots of almond clusters were what got me to Austin).  I rode my bike 150 miles and gained 4 pounds doing it.  Now, I'm sure some of that was water retention, but it sure made me curious as to the toll that carbs are taking on my body.  

So, I decided to see what would happen if I gave up all carbs and all "added" sugar (again, I'm not giving up fruit.  EVER.) for awhile.  And the more I thought about it, the more I thought, I'll just go "all in" and give up dairy, too.  So, I set off to do some research, and kept coming back to the Whole30.  

My first intention was to do my own thing, with the Whole30 as a base, starting May 1.  I still have 13 meal replacement shakes to drink, so I thought, "well, I'll give up carbs, sugar, and dairy, try to give up legumes, but finish my shakes."  Then I decided that was ridiculous, and I might as well jump right in.  But, I didn't decide that until... oh, lunch time on May 1.  So,this week, I'm doing a "busy mom" type Whole 30.  I'll cover that in the next post.  For now, let's talk about what this Whole 30 thing is.

First, the program

That's it.  No carbs, no dairy, no sugar, no legumes.  30 days.  Goal weight, here I come.

Now, at the same time, I started a boot camp with Real EFX Fitness.  A few months ago, I bought a Living Social deal to try them out for a month.  So, I started on Tuesday, April 30th.  Surprisingly, the format is very similar to Stroller Strides (but without babies!).  In the two classes I've been to so far, he has the gym set up in 6 stations, and you rotate stations, breaking it up with short runs.  So far, it hasn't been the in "your face, carry your partner on your back while flipping this tire up a hill" angry, shouty experience that I was expecting.  He is all about you knowing your limits, and not hurting yourself, but still getting in a great workout.  And of course, it sure was nice to show him how far out my limits are!!  The first class, he had set up a station for reverse lunges with a barbell.  He told me that I could grab 10 pounds, and I thought he was talking about adding plates to the bar. When I realized that he meant hand weights, I laughed and told him I was good with the bar.  A few stations later, he came over to ask me what my normal routine is, I guess by that point he noticed that I'm fitter than I look!!  This morning, he asked me if I'd like to try his heavier weight class, instead of the cardio-intense one that I had been doing.  I think I will give it a shot, but I will probably stick with the group class.  I can lift heavy on my own!

MS150

Well, I did it.  I rode my bike from Houston to Austin, and I had FUN doing it!

To prepare, I participated in the Ready2Roll Training series (totally worth it, if you're considering riding!).  Thursday before the race, I started "carbing up".  I had lunch at my favorite restaurant, then had delicious lasagna and bread sticks at our team Carbo Load dinner.  Friday, I went for a loaded baked potato at lunch, and then chowed down on more pasta at Grotto on Friday night.

Since the start is almost an hour from my house, I spent the night with my cousin on Friday night.  She lives only 16 minutes from the start, which proved to be a very good thing!  I had planned to wake up at 5, swing by McDonalds for more carbs, and be at the start by 5:45.  My nervous energy woke me up at 4:30, so we were out the door before 5.  The husband had located the nearest McD's (even though my cousin had directed us to a different one).  When we got there, it was in a Wal-Mart, and closed.  So on to the next one.  Also closed.  Google mapped a third one (which claimed to be open) also closed.  Started to get nervous that I was going to ride on an empty stomach.  Found a 4th one very close to the starting line, which claimed to open at 5:30.  We got there at 5:27, and they were already doing a booming business.  I got my pancakes, the husband had to double back for his McMuffin, and never did get his coffee.  Then it was on to the chaos of the finding the luggage truck and my ride partner. We finally found the luggage van (after more confusion), then directed my partner to the luggage van (further confusion ensued).  Then we all said our good-byes, and the partner and I headed for the chute.

Our start was supposed to roll at 6:45.  At 6:46 they announced that we were waiting until 7, because of how many people were still lined up, trying to get in.  I don't know why we had to wait for people who slept in, but whatever..!  I think we hit the road about 7:30, and it was COLD.

42 degrees cold

So, we rolled through the first rest stop, took a quick break at the second rest stop, and got back on the road.  At mile 20, the "medium" route that we were on merges with the "long" route.  When we got there, everyone was stopped for the left turn.  We could see a little down the road that people were walking their bikes past some cop cars, so we wondered what was going on.  Then, we were all stopped while an ambulance arrived.  The ambulance departed (not in a huge hurry) and the course was opened back up.  We weren't sure what happened.  Once we got started again, we saw that the lane for the riders had been repaved, while the other lane wasn't, creating uneven lanes.  We assumed that someone had fallen off the edge and crashed, maybe cause a pile-up.  The rumor at lunch was that the person did indeed fall off the edge, and got hit by a car...  but, we didn't see a wrecker, or a damaged car, or a damaged bike, or cops questioning anyone.  The "hit by a car" thing seemed unlikely.  Either way, we heard that the rider was ok, and expected to make a full recovery.

After lunch, we were still rolling strong, when the ride started to get hilly.  It was mostly small climbs, but they started to wear on us.  We pulled into the 65 mile break point around 1:30, and decided to rest for a bit.  I think my partner was getting tired, and the balls of my feet were SCREAMING.  I kept trying to remind myself to be grateful for the pain, to think of the people who can't ride because they can't depend on their bodies.  That helped me power through, but I'm not sure it made my feet hurt any less. :) So, I grabbed my usual fuel (assorted nuts/trail mix and fig newtons), but also was tempted by some cookies.  We left that rest stop around 2:15, and were rolling hard, when I started to feel super crummy.  Each climb was making me feel nauseous, and I just felt yuck!  So we slowed down a bit, which made me feel much better. Looking back, I think it was the sugar that made me feel so bad.

After the next rest stop, I started to recover, and we powered to the finish.  We rode 85 miles, and finished right around 4:30.  We hopped in the shower, grabbed some dinner and a massage, and camped out for the night.  As we were going to sleep, my ride partner offered me some ear plugs.  I thought he was just being considerate, because we were camping in a busy tent.  I found out a few hours later that it's because he (and every other man in the tent!) is a snorer!!  I finally fell asleep shortly after 11, and was awoken at 3:30 when the shuttle buses started their engines.  Fun times for sure!!

Along the route, people come out to cheer us on.  We had two Texas Country fiddlers (in overalls!) jamming outside of their ranch, we had some teenagers playing their clarinets, we had people with cowbells, and bubbles.  But my favorite thing was the town of Fayetteville. The people of Fayetteville come out in force.  They blast music, blow bubbles, hand out water and baked goods, and just generally give you a boost of energy on a hilly part of the ride.  We rode past two different sets of crazy old ladies rocking out to Thrift Shop.  It was a great time, and a stark contrast to Day 2 in Bastrop, when it's obvious that everyone hates the traffic caused by the riders!

Street Party in Fayetteville

Day 2 was a rough start.  The only thing that got me out of bed that morning was the thought of being able to say, "I did it!" in a few hours.  Shockingly, I wasn't sore or anything, I had just heard tales of the hills that were waiting for me, and I wanted to stay in bed!  But, I got up, packed up my stuff, and headed out.  The first few miles were super awkward.  I felt like my legs were 3" too short for my bike, and I was having to lean side to side to turn the pedals.  I think the other riders were feeling the same, because we saw lots of crashes!  People were riding sloppy, and there was a general lack of energy.  Once we got warmed up, it was much easier!  The first part of Day 2 is lots of tall, gentle hills, because you are riding on a highway (the hills are graded for cars).  Once it merges with the challenge route, it flattens out, and you can really crank it out until the final 10 miles.  Again, as we approached the merge, we came to a complete stop.  This time, we couldn't see what was happening, but we got to roll shortly thereafter.  The car traffic was also stopped, which makes me think it was another crash, but I don't have anything to verify that.

One change that the organizers made this year was to avoid the new Buccee's on 71.  I completely understand why they didn't want us trying to cross that driveway all day, but it made for a very dangerous situation.  The road we were routed onto was a HUGE downhill, ending in a traffic light.  And since we were crossing, we had to wait for the signal.  The light backed up, almost completely up the hill, to where we were having to walk our bikes downhill, then remount, then stop and walk.  It was a MESS.  Hopefully, they can find something better for next year!  That was the last excitement before lunch.

At lunch, we saw a guy on a unicycle.  We also spotted a guy with one of those old Groucho Marx type bikes, with the giant front wheel and the tiny back wheel.  There was also a CRAZY old man on an Ellipta-GO.  And a miserable couple on a tandem recumbent. 

After lunch, we hit the road again, and we were both feeling good.  We pressed through until there were 8 miles left.  My riding buddy had been preparing me for the last 8 miles.  He has driven the SAG vans in years past, and he said people just get completely worn out on those hills in east Austin.  Luckily for us, we had trained on some awesome hills, with headwinds, so it ended up being a piece of cake.  There were 3 or 4 massive hills, then some little rollers, and TA-DAH we were on campus.  We cranked it, and just totally blew it out, so that we could cross the finish line without a crowd.  It was AMAZING to breeze through campus and around the corner to the Capitol.

I don't even remember coming through the chute, it was such an exciting blur.  Once we turned the corner from Red River onto MLK, I just felt this rush of, "OMG we did it!  It's over, I feel amazing, Hallelujah!!"  Getting up that morning, I really thought I might tear up at the finish, but I didn't.  I grinned like a mad woman, and enjoyed the heck out of it!!

Tradition

My husband met me at the finish line with slutty brownies and Texas Yellow roses.  I knocked back some Endurox and some Muscle Milk to speed my recovery, and then set off to shower at my friend's casa.  However, my brain wasn't fully engaged, so there was some miscommunication between myself and the hubs.  And we ended up south of Austin, back in the path of the bikers.  So, I decided that I was too tired to fight my way back in, and we just headed for Houston instead.

Monday, I felt like my feet had been strapped into 4" heels for 2 weeks.  I slept for 12 hours Sunday night, and then took a 3 hour nap.  Tuesday, I tried to put on some ballet flats, but my feet were too swollen.  As the day went on, my lower back got more and more sore.  But all in all, it's been a very easy recovery.  I had planned to give myself the whole week off from the gym, but I may end up back at it on Thursday, if I continue feeling this good!

Motivation

Several people have asked me how I've stayed motivated.  I put in so much effort, and reap small rewards, how do I get up every day and do it again?  I have lots of ways, but I'm going to focus on the most important two.

First: getting out of bed in the morning.  I do my gym sessions before work, which means I roll out of bed at 4:40 am.  Yes, 4:40.  It hurts to even type it.  I tried everything to make those mornings easier.  One big helper is to plan my workout the night before, so in the morning I can be on auto-pilot.  But sometimes that doesn't do it, so I enlisted the help of my husband, demanding that he literally kick me out of bed.  Take his foot, put it on my booty, and push.  That only works on mornings that he stays awake long enough to help!  So, here's what actually works for me, for work-outs and for eating.

I OWN my choices.

For my workouts, I read somewhere about the power of thought in making choices.  The change from "I can't" to "I won't" is huge.  So on the mornings when I realllllly don't want to get up, and my head starts in with, "I can't get up this morning, I'm too tired," I make the conscious decision to think, "I won't get up this morning."  And then I feel like a big brat, pouting that I *won't* do something, and that makes me get out of bed.  Another trick is when the husband asks if he needs set my gym alarm (the clock is on his side of the bed).  He says, "you going to the gym in the morning?" and I say, "I should," because it's easier for me to turn that "should" into "will".

Here's how it works for eating.  When temptation strikes (usually in the form of sweets!), I ask myself, "will this put you closer to or further from your goals?"  Some days the answer is, "further from, but I still want it!" and sometimes, it's "further from, walk away!"  Either way, the question slows me down enough to think about what I'm eating, and be confident about that choice.  Then I'm not staring at the scale the next day, thinking "well, I crap shouldn't have had that second cookie that I don't even remember eating, there's those 2 pounds."  Since I made the choice, it's easier to bounce back and say, "well, there's that cookie.  It was good, you enjoyed it, and now you work it off!"

Now, the only thing I haven't figured out is when the opposite happens.  Yesterday, we had a brownie extravaganza at work.  So I had a brownie and some ice cream.  And this morning, I was expecting to see it on the scale, and I was going to be completely fine with that.  But that PCOS-monster showed up, and I've lost 5 pounds since yesterday.  When that happens, my head is all, "Hooray, brownies and ice cream everyday!"

Both examples (food and workouts) come back to control.  When I'm knocking out reps at the gym and not seeing results on the scale, it can be frustrating.  But knowing that I am the one in control of when I workout and what I eat, it makes it easier to keep going.

I hope that makes sense, and that it helps someone who is struggling.  Small changes in thinking can make huge differences!!

Fellow Cysters

When I decided to write this blog, my goal was for it to be an inspiration for other people to start on their fitness journeys.  What I didn't expect was how many people have told me, "I sent your blog to my cousin [sister, friend, boss...] who also has PCOS, and struggles with her weight."  I know that PCOS affects 1 in 20 women (some say 1 in 10), but I forget how common that really is.

So, I read online that it's almost TWICE as hard to lose weight with PCOS as it is to lose without it.  The statistic went on to say that every 4 pounds lost by a Cyster is equivalent to 7 pounds lost by someone without the Syndrome.  While I don't want to brag... I did the math.  Since April 2012, I've lost 45 pounds.  That's 78.75 pounds for a "normal" person.  So, while I sit here feeling a little sorry for myself that I've *only* lost 45 pounds in a year, I can flip it and fell pretty darn good about losing close to 80 "normal" pounds.  Because that's 6.5 pounds/month, and it's been beaten into my head that 6-8 pounds/month is a good goal for maintaining the loss long term.  Any faster and you risk packing it (and more) right back on.

A friend of mine posted this link: http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/21818155/local-beauty-queen  about her husband's cousin.  She's a young lady who competes in beauty pageants, and was diagnosed with PCOS. She gained 30 pounds in 3 months, while working out (hey, that sounds familiar!).  She's controlling her symptoms with diet, and continuing to compete.  Way to go, girl!!  :)

Jillien Michaels has it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk8bIKdMFVw

Victoria Beckham (::swoon:: I LOVE her!!!!) has it.

The list goes on and on.  Celebrities, friends, strangers.  Chances are, you know someone that has it.

I'm currently controlling my symptoms with intense exercise, Metformin, and Yasmin.  I've discussed how I've altered what I eat, but I know that I can do better.  After the MS150 is over, I'm going to embark on a new course with what I eat.  As for why I'm waiting, I've already figured out that the best way for me to fuel is to have (complex) carbs on the ride, and avoid the sugars that are offered.  The ride is just 2 weeks away, so I don't want to try to mess with anything new in that short of a time frame.

The people that I've mentioned above are controlling their symptoms through their food choices.  I still need to research if I'm going to go Low GI, Paleo, South Beach... the options are many, and I still have a few weeks to decide.  Whatever I choose, it will have to include fruit, because I LOVE fruit.  I can give up carbs, or dairy, I'd even consider giving up alcohol before I could give up fruit.  :)  I know that I can reach my goals, but I feel like I need a little bit more of a boost to get there on my schedule.

MS 150

After the pictures were published from my Sprint Tri, I realized just how nervous I was about the bike ride.  The Sunday before the race, I had crashed into a ditch when a runner decided not to share the hike and bike trail that we were on.  She was running towards me and grabbed the middle, which left the edge for me.  It would have been fine, but I hit a crack and down I went. Thankfully, I was slowed almost to a stop before I crashed. 

So, the pictures came out, and you can see the look of pure terror on my face.  Smiles after the swim.  Smiles during the run.  "Oh dear sweet baby Jesus, just get me through this!" on the bike.   So, clearly, the most logical thing to do to beat my bike was to sign up to ride in the MS150.

The MS150 is a 150 mile (give or take) 2 day bike ride from Houston to Austin.  The ride raises money for MS research, and gives bragging rights to crazy people like me. I waffled about signing up for it, I considered every excuse in the book.   But I finally decided that if I didn't just suck it up and do it, then I never would.  Besides, I had a perfectly lovely bike just wasting away in the garage.  Why not ride it 150 miles?! :)

Several people from my office also decided to ride, and we signed up on the Conoco Phillips team.  Their team is one of the most (if not the most) organized in the entire organization.  They hold supported rides every Saturday leading up to the event, they offer training for new riders, feedback on safety on the road... the list goes on. I'm so thankful that I am riding with this team, because it has made the experience very enjoyable.

After the first "long" rides (I count "long" as anything over 40 miles), my body just completely crashed.  Either at a point during the ride or shortly after, I turned into a zombie and didn't recover until Wednesday morning.  Of course, I did some more googling, and found a few instances of people being warned against Metformin in endurance events.  So, I called my doctor, and told her all of my symptoms, how I was hydrating and fueling, and asked her opinion.  She assured me that Metformin has a low incidence of hypoglycemia, and suggested that I up my carb intake during the rides. 

So, last weekend, I enjoyed Cici's pizza on Friday night.  On the way to the ride Saturday morning, my ride buddy and I stopped at McDonalds, where I ate hotcakes (sans syrup).  On my back, I carried Fig Newtons (a google suggestion!), oranges (a soccer holdover), and some GU.  For the ride home, I prepared a bottle of Endurox (a carbohydrate recovery drink, similar to Gatorade).  At the rest stops, I ate Fig Newtons, oranges, and grabbed some trail mix (the team provides snacks at the rest stops). 

Saturday's ride was 55 miles of hills, and I could feel my hamstrings locking up with about 8 miles left.  I was trying to not eat any GU, to see if it would keep me from crashing so hard.  But when my ride buddy said he needed it with just over 6 miles left, I went ahead and downed one also.  I'm glad I did, because I just barely squeaked out the last hill!!!

After the ride, I felt great.  I continued feeling great on the ride home, and into that evening.  I finally came down (but didn't crash) about 7:30.  It was a much better feeling than the previous 3 weeks.  I'm not sure if my body is starting to adjust to the endurance, or if it was all the carbs, but something worked.  We're going after 63 miles at twice the elevation change this weekend, and I'm hoping my plan works as well!!

While training for the MS150, and knowing how many calories it takes to ride that far, I'm not intending on losing any weight for the next 5 weeks.  If it happens, that's great, but I'm not going to stress if it doesn't. 

Currently, I'm riding my bike 50+ miles on Saturday, hitting the gym T/W/Th (legs, back and chest, arms and abs), and running with my sister.  I am still doing my monthly races.  This Saturday, after my 63 miles, I signed up to do a Glow Run with my sister (a 5k in the dark).  The weekend before the 150, I'm doing the Blue Bell Fun Run, just to make sure my hamstrings are good and exhausted for the ride.  :)  So, while I've been riding and lifting, I'm also running 3-9 miles/week (depending on my sister's schedule).  We are loosely following the Hal Higdon 10k plan again, so that the 5k will feel super easy.  We haven't been very good at getting our mileage in, though (as you can tell!).

Aren't my cycling clothes flattering?!